4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
there is glitter all over my balls
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
