hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
