turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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