Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
