do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
