Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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