He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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