he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
