i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
