I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
