Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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