he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
