I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
