I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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