You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
