its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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