True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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