Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I party with great urgency now.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
