How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
