dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
COCAINE IS GR8
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
