we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
