I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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