Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
