I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
