great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
