I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
