He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
