So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I need to stop coming to work sober
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
