There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
