I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
