If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
