Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
