this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
