I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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