Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
