shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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