Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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