Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am spending my child support on dildos
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
