he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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