Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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