Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
