I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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