At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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