shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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