Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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