Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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