The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
