Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He did a backflip because drugs
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
