so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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