When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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